


Friends Are A Fate That Befell Me

by Niiknacks



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Gen, Guilt, Hiding Medical Issues, Hotch is a dad, Hurt Spencer Reid, Hurt/Comfort, I will make him believe it, Injury, Major Character Injury, Spencer Reid Whump, They love him, Whump, found family fluff, he doesnt believe it, no beta we die like Maeve Donovan, part 1 whump, part 2 fluff, someone look after this boy bc he's not gonna
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:49:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27675614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Niiknacks/pseuds/Niiknacks
Summary: Reid gets beaten by an Unsub on a case, but hides the resulting injury. The team has bigger things to worry about, after all.Unfortunately it catches up with him in spectacular fashion and he's forced to accept that the team only worry because they care, which might not be such a bad thing after all.
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner & Spencer Reid, Spencer Reid & The BAU Team
Comments: 12
Kudos: 181





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> See tags for CWs! If I've missed any, just let me know.
> 
> Title is from Dinner & Diatribes by Hozier
> 
> Enjoy!

Getting caught by the unsub had been his own stupid fault, really. He should have heard him coming a little sooner, should have called for backup a little quicker, should have been a little more prepared. When the short plank made contact with his ribs the first time, it knocked the wind out of his lungs and the gun out of his hand, a brilliant shockwave of pain that radiated through his whole body. The second and third hits sent him crashing to the floor as stars flashed in his vision, ears ringing so loudly he couldn’t hear the SUVs pulling up outside or the crash of the front door as it was kicked in. He barely noticed the unsub drop the plank of wood and run for the back of the house as he lay curled up on the floor; all he could think of was the desperate struggle to pull air into his lungs.

It was a full five minutes before he could sit up, and another five before he could stand. The pain in his ribs burnt red hot every time he inhaled, but the sounds of confrontation at the back of the house drove him up to his feet - his team needed him, and a cracked rib or two didn't change that, much less ones that were the direct result of his own unpreparedness and stupidity.

Gunshots rang out in the quiet, two then three then agonising quiet, and Reid forced himself into a run. Bursting out of the back door, it was a relief to see only one body lying sprawled in the grass, and Reid recognised the dark red hoodie the unsub had been wearing - one way or another the case was over, and Reid was glad to see the back of it. It'd been a long few days.

Hotch was closest to the back door, and he glanced over at Reid as an ambulance crew descended on the motionless unsub. Hotch's face was impassive as ever, and he called out over the noise of the retreating SWAT team.

"Reid! what happened? we were about to come looking for you."

Reid grimaced apologetically. "Sorry Hotch, the unsub caught me off guard upstairs. Was anyone else hurt?" Nightmare scenarios of his teammates getting injured because of his failure to stop the unsub upstairs flashed through his mind, and he couldn't find Morgan or Prentiss in the crowd.

Mercifully, Hotch shook his head, but his eyes narrowed in concern. "No, everyone else is fine. He caught you off guard? Are you okay? There's a second ambulance out front, you should get checked out if he got to you."

The last thing Reid felt like doing after the week they'd had was getting poked and prodded by EMTs, and with the way pain flared with each breath, he had a sneaking suspicion that they'd insist on a hospital visit if they saw his ribs. No, the best thing for everyone was to get on the road and get home. He shook his head firmly. "I'm fine, just a few bruises. Nothing a good night's sleep won't fix." He shot Hotch what he hoped was his best reassuring smile.

Hotch eyed him critically, and for a moment Reid was sure he was going to insist, until eventually, he nodded. "If you're sure. Morgan and Prentiss are debriefing the chief now, so we should be on the road in 30." He arched a knowing eyebrow. "Just if you want to change your mind."

Reid couldn't hide his relieved sigh, and he internally gave thanks for his unit chief's quiet understanding. He wouldn't change his mind though, and once they were given the all clear to start the drive home, he was careful to slide into the back of the SUV Rossi and JJ had claimed - Rossi was a quiet driver, preferring the radio to conversation, and JJ would sleep most of the way back to Quantico. The car ride back would be painful, but at least he wouldn’t have to hide the pain behind conversation.

He just needed to get home. Once he was home, he'd be fine.

\---

Reid was well practiced in treating broken ribs from his high school days, although admittedly he hadn't had to use that skill in a while. He had grown quite adept at wrapping his chest with bandages and taping them in front of the bathroom mirror after the older kids had their fun, and carefully timing doses of paracetamol and ibuprofen to most effectively take the edge off the pain. He'd got used to breathing as shallowly as possible too, to avoid twisting or moving too sharply, and most importantly to avoid showing the pain to other people. Showing the pain would only start round two from the football team, would only bring awkward, unanswerable questions from the teachers, would only worry his mother on the days she was lucid enough to notice him at all. Worrying his mother had been the worst part - she'd had enough to worry about without him. He'd been there to look after her, not the other way around.

So really it was very easy for Reid to step back into that old performance when the next call came in and the team gathered at the office. He lingered a little longer at the coffee station so the others would be in front of him as he slowly, carefully climbed the steps to the briefing room, and once sat at the round table it was easy enough to keep still and quiet. Prentiss sent a teasing jab his way when he missed an opportunity to enlighten the rest of the team with statistics about airborne pollution on the east coast, but he shrugged and muttered something about not sleeping so well and the conversation moved on again.

Hotch called wheels up in 20 and everyone hurried off to collect go bags, but before Spencer could slip out, Morgan appeared beside him and clapped him on the shoulder. Reid bit down hard enough on the inside of his cheek that he drew blood to avoid crying out, and he thought longingly about the pack of Tylenol in his messenger bag. (2 hours and 14 minutes and he could have another dose. That wasn’t that long. He could do that.)

"Hey, pretty boy, you in there? You hardly said a word, and I've never know you miss a chance to tell us how many vehicles there are in South Carolina."

Reid sighed internally. Perhaps this was going to be a little harder than high school - for one, his classmates then hadn’t been trained in noticing and analysing human behaviour, and these days he was encouraged and expected to contribute to the conversation. Clearly the silent technique was going to need revising. Instead he laughed as best he could, wincing internally, and returned Morgan's friendly smack on the shoulder.

"I told you man, I just didn’t sleep well. Another coffee on the jet and I'll be good to go. Did you know that the idea adults need much less sleep than teenagers is pretty much entirely a myth? Teenagers naturally sleep over a different part of the day, favouring staying up later and sleeping in compared to the early to bed and early to rise model adult society is structured around, but adults don’t really need significantly less. Chronic sleep deprivation is actually one of the top contributing factors in many other health conditions like heart disease, hypertension, and diabetes, although-"

Morgan laughed and cut him off with a wave. "Okay kid, I get it, although that’s not exactly reassuring."

Perhaps that hadn’t been exactly the right fact to share, although Morgan's expression had relaxed anyway. Lack of sleep was something they were all familiar with and Reid’s explanation had seemed to satisfy his friend. With a serial murderer on the loose and not much time before his next body was due to drop, they all had bigger things to think about than him being a little quieter than usual.

\---

Reid knew he was in trouble 6 minutes into the flight. Take off had been much worse than he had expected, and he knew he was very lucky the team had been too busy reading through the case files to notice his silent agony, even if he had deliberately chosen the couch and angled himself away from the table. He’d kept a silent chant in his head from the first moment the pain lanced through his ribs, repeating over and over that he just needed to hold on until they reached altitude and he’d be fine, but the minutes had ticked by as the plane climbed into the silent sky, and it had become increasingly hard for him to suck air into his lungs.  
Panic prickled at the back of his mind as he fought to draw breath. Every time he exhaled it became harder for his ribs to expand once more, like some invisible python had wrapped itself around his torso, silently crushing the life out of him. The case file fluttered to the floor, fingers too numb to hold on. Distantly, he heard someone call his name, and he forced himself to look up. Rossi was looking at him, the whole team was looking at him, brows drawn in various expressions of concern. Reid saw Rossi’s mouth move again, heard the sounds and syllables, but somehow they didn’t seem to resolve themselves into recognisable words through the pounding headache that now kicked at the inside of his skull. Not that it really mattered anyway. He couldn’t breathe enough to respond.

He rather absently registered that his teammates’ expressions had morphed from concerned to panicked, then everything slid sideways and all he could see was the softly lit, beige roof of the jet. Faces swam in and out, and tendrils of inky black pulled in from the edges of his vision. His limbs felt impossibly heavy yet somehow like his whole body was floating, and dimly he was aware that the pain in his ribs had gone.

No pain, only weightlessness. That should probably have concerned him.

It didn’t.

Did he get to sleep now?

The black pulled in a little further, and Spencer felt a hand on his face trying to rouse him.

He just wanted to sleep. Was that really so much to ask?

A voice pushed through the muffled silence, a voice thick with terror.

“Come on now, Spence, stay with me. Keep those eyes open, come on.”

JJ.

His team needed him to stay awake. Needed him to keep his eyes open.

He tried.

He really tried, but the twelve labours of Hercules paled in comparison to such a task, and finally he fell away into the darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reid wakes up, and realises what he has.

Reid rose to consciousness in stages. He became aware of the steady beep of the heart monitor first, the hum of people talking in next door rooms, then the thin, clean smell common to all hospitals as memories of the plane ride began to filter back in. His head was fuzzy with exhaustion and his throat felt like sandpaper, but he realised that for the first time in almost a week, the stab of pain that had accompanied each breath was missing. Despite his normal dislike of hospitals, he couldn’t deny the relief that swept through him as he realised he could breathe easily again.

He opened his eyes to see his hospital room full to capacity. JJ, Prentiss, and Garcia were huddled up on the sofa, while Morgan stared intently at a vending machine coffee in the chair, picking absently at the label. Hotch and Rossi leant against the far wall talking quietly, and Reid was wondering how they managed to convince the nurse to let them all in when Morgan glanced up at him and leapt to his feet.

“Reid! You’re awake!” 

At his words, everybody’s attention immediately snapped to him, expressions of relief painfully clear on their faces, and Reid had to resist the temptation to pull the thin hospital sheets up to his chin like a child. He hadn’t meant to worry them - the whole point had been to avoid them fussing over him, only he’d messed up on a whole new scale this time. He only hoped he hadn’t ruined the investigation too. If an unsub had got away or killed again because of him, he’d never be able to look Hotch in the eye.

He went to ask about what had happened on the plane, but his mouth felt like it’d been stuffed with cotton wool and the words came out half formed and indistinct. Thankfully, someone read his mind almost before the thought had formed and he was presented with a paper cup half full of cool water. 

Nothing had ever tasted so good in his life.

His second attempt at speaking was much more successful than the first, and he managed to croak out his first question.

“What about the unsub? Shouldn’t you be out working the case, not here?”

Morgan’s eyebrows jumped up in amazement, and he threw his hands up in exasperation. 

“Kid, I swear to God…” He turned to Prentiss, shaking his head. “Can you believe this guy? In hospital unconscious for 3 days and the first thing he asks about when he wakes up is work. Unbelievable.” 

Reid couldn’t help but grin self-consciously, and despite his words he couldn’t miss the fondness in Morgan’s voice. Rossi spoke up next, patting Reid’s leg gently.

“Don’t worry about that one, kid. Local PD picked him up last night, and we flew back right away. Got here a few hours ago, although I don’t think Garcia has been more than 10 foot away from you since they brought you in.” He shot a teasing smile across at her, and she shrugged unabashedly.

“How could I be anywhere else when my boy genius was here?” She smiled softly at him, and he could only hope that the smile he returned conveyed even a fraction of the gratefulness that squeezed in his chest. He made a mental note to get her as big a bag of her favourite pink champagne truffles as he could get his hands on as soon as he was discharged.

He took another sip of water, and summoned the courage to ask the more important question. Shame prickled up the back of his neck, and he couldn’t quite bring himself to look any of them in the eye.

“What happened on the plane?” 

There was a beat of quiet, and Reid could feel the mood drop a little. It was Prentiss that answered.

“The doctor said you had a left side closed pneumothorax, most likely caused when your ribs were broken. It developed into a tension pneumothorax, and with the change in pressure on the plane, it caused your lung to collapse.” She paused for a moment, and when she spoke again her voice was quieter, less assured. “You stopped breathing, Spencer. They almost lost you in the ambulance.” 

Reid could hear the pain in the tightness of her voice, and he finally dragged his gaze up away from the rail of his bed to their faces. All of them had similar expressions of pain at the memories. Reid’s gut twisted in bitter guilt at what he’d put them through, and it was all he could do to force his next words past the rapidly forming lump in his throat.

“I’m so sorry.”

JJ cut him off with a determined shake of her head and wrapped him in as much of a hug as was possible with the tubes and wires attached to him. He fought back the tears that pricked at the corners of his eyes and blurred the room around him.

“Don’t you dare apologise, Spence. We’re all just glad you’re okay. That’s all that matters now.”

\---

They all talked quietly for another 20 minutes as JJ filled him in on the closed case and Morgan teased him about his choice of hospital reading material, but eventually the nurse came and shooed them out to let Reid get some more rest. As everyone reluctantly filed out of the little room, Reid couldn’t help but notice that the only person who hadn’t joined in was Hotch. He’d spent the whole time standing quietly at the back, hardly saying a word in the half hour Reid had been awake, and at the nurse’s words he had slipped out barely before she had finished speaking. Anxiety twisted in Spencer's stomach, and he caught Emily’s wrist before she could leave. She looked back at him, concern in her eyes.

Reid kept his voice low so the others wouldn’t overhear. 

“How mad is Hotch, really? He’s got to be furious, right? I hid an injury from him and it could have cost us the investigation.”  
Emily’s expression morphed from concerned to sympathetic.

“Angry? Reid, believe me, he’s not angry. At least, not at you.” She glanced over at the dark shape of Hotch’s retreating figure and sighed. “Believe it or not, we all care about you as a person as well as an agent, and despite the iron wall he puts up, that includes Hotch. I think maybe you need to talk to him about this one.”  
Reid didn't have an answer for that, and Emily squeezed his hand, shot him a small smile, and slipped out of the room. Reid was left alone to his jello and racing thoughts.

\---

Reid slept again after he ate, and when he awoke it was to a room bathed in the amber of evening. The room was empty, aside from Hotch on the blue vinyl sofa leafing through an FBI file, and Reid had no doubt that that was Emily Prentiss’ handiwork. He knew, realistically, that she was right and he needed to talk to his unit chief himself, but conversations like this were so much easier as theoreticals when compared to real life. 

“Hey Hotch.” It was a noncommittal start, but a safe one, and Hotch’s attention jumped up to him.

“How’re you feeling, Reid? Do you need some water? I can call the nurse if you’re in too much pain.”

Reid shook his head. “I’m okay, thanks.” Hotch nodded and quiet settled over the room again, an expectant silence that demanded attention. Reid hated silence.

Hotch returned to looking at the file on his knee, but Reid could see his eyes no longer scanned over the words and he cursed internally. Why did this have to be so difficult? Non-euclidean geometry was as simple to him as breathing, but apologising to his superior for almost dying on him was like climbing Everest in flip-flops. He swallowed, steeled his nerves, and tried again.

“Hotch, if I’d know it would end up like this, I never would’ve-” he began, but Hotch cut him off, snapping the folder shut and dropping it on the couch next to him.

“Why is it you refuse to get medical treatment unless someone forces you? This isn’t the first time, Reid, we both know that, it’s just the first time it’s got you in trouble. So why are you so determined to refuse any kind of help?”

That wasn’t the question Spencer had been expecting.

“It’s not that, I just…” He hesitated, “I’m just used to dealing with stuff myself, you know? I thought I was fine and I didn’t want to worry anyone.”

Hotch’s eyebrows arched, his mouth pulled in a tight line. Reid couldn’t quite tell if it was an expression of frustration or hurt.

“And what do you think we’ve spent the last three days doing?”

Reid picked at a stray thread on his sheets, unable to meet Hotch’s gaze.

“You’re right. I shouldn’t have hidden it. I jepordised the investigation and you’re right to be angry at me.”

“Reid, forget the case! I’m not mad because you weren't working the case, I was worried because you almost died!” 

The silence rushed back in and Reid had absolutely no idea how to respond.

Hotch rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hand, and for a moment Reid could see a bone deep tiredness in his face and the line of his shoulders that made his unit chief look a decade older. When Hotch looked up again he didn’t look at Spencer, but rather stared off out the windows at the fading sun.

“I should have made you get checked out. I could see you were in pain and I should have insisted the EMTs look at you. For that, I’m sorry, Spencer.”

“Hotch, no, this isn’t your fault. I’d made up my mind, and-”

“And I’m your superior officer,” Hotch cut in, “and it’s my job to look out for my team. This could have been avoided if I’d put my foot down.”

“You trusted me, Hotch,” Spencer said, quietly. “This isn’t on you.”

Hotch finally looked back at him again, but Reid got the feeling he wasn’t fully seeing him in that moment.

“You went so blue, Reid. I’ve been at the Bureau for a long time and I’ve never seen someone go that colour while they were still alive. I was sure we’d lost you.”  
He seemed to pull himself back to the present with a deep breath.

“We can argue about responsibility later. For now, I just need you to promise me you will get some treatment if you’re ever injured, even if you don’t think you need it. Especially if you don’t think you need it. Deal?” The ghost of a smile passed across the Unit Chief's face. "After all, what would we do without our boy genius?"

Reid looked into the face of his mentor and friend, and thought of all the people who had piled into a little hospital room simply to be there when he woke up. People who would miss him if he was gone. Friends. A family. 

He smiled.

“Deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh shit, bet you thought I'd forgotten about this!
> 
> (spoilers: I had. oops)
> 
> I struggled for a while to convince them to actually talk to each other, and then my brain wandered off to greener hyperfixations, at which point this fic exited my brain stage left. Found it and finished it today, but I haven't watched any CM in like 3 months so if they all seem way ooc that's probably why lmao. Still, I hope you enjoy this little conclusion
> 
> I'm currently thinking pretty exclusively about critical role, so if there are any other cm and cr fans out there, look out for a couple of fics I may publish if I ever get my shit together and finish them. One is shadowgast and the other is Astrid and the blumentrio
> 
> Until then, peace! - Jamie

**Author's Note:**

> 'Nooo, stop hurting poor Reid!' I yell at the writers, while simultaneously hurting him more in my own fic lmao  
> That's the fanfic writer's prerogative, baybee 
> 
> AO3 doesn't need any more Reid whump fics but like, here we are anyway so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed, part 2 will be up soon once I figure out how to stop them being so emotionally constipated and get them to actually open up to each other. Talk about your emotions, goddamnit!
> 
> Peace  
> \- Jamie


End file.
